Senordinger’s Weblog

Whats new with me, is I don’t write on here very much.  Its either hit or miss I will do a bunch in a row and then not do anything.  So here are a few short paragraphs about whats new.

First off I watch a dog all the time, kinda a part-time job.  I think I’m allergic to him too.  So thats no good.  Watching him overnight tonight so tomorrow I might be tire at work if he doesn’t let me sleep.   Another thing is I cooked my first Turkey for Thanksgiving, turned out decent.  I was lazy and since I was only cooking for myself I just put it in the Slow Cooker with some wine and spices.  On the side Holidays suck to be alone.  On the good side I get to go home for Christmas, thats good cause last year I didn’t make until June because of work.  Next is no shocker I’m not a big fan of my job.  I believe my parent company is unethical and I don’t see it improving.  Many of the promises I thought were there when I accepted the position are not, and wont be.  And I was hired for a certain postion, but have not done anything even near that.  After the year end review and when I don’t get a bonus, and dont get a raise I know I will be even more frustrated with it.  If I did the same thing at a different company I would be making close to double.  Plus my benefits suck…  It actually makes me angry every single day I’m there.  Hopefully will find something new by April.

I got myself a little brother named Ameer through Big Brothers Big Sisters.  Kinda still early in our friendship, but it is exciting to take him, or let him do things he normally wouldn’t be able to.  We went to a hockey game, first time I think I’ve ever gone to a hockey game and not had a beer.  It was fun cause he was excited.  Except the stupid Cotton Candy dude walked past us 50 times, how could I say no.  Concession tab over $20

Well nothing special planned for next few weeks.  Get to watch other dog, Sammy for a few days, at least he will be able to entertain me.

Five months ago today I broke my Tibia and Fibula at the Ankle.  Here is my story.  It was the Friday of my SECOND week at my new job.  I was on the church softball team.  I left work and went straight to the softball field to play a double header.  My plans for the night were to go meet J for a cocktail by the pool that evening.  Perfect hot summer night, with a quick relaxing swim/float.  Sounds like a good evening.  Well about halfway through the second game, I was running to third and in the midst of ducking and stopping something cracked.  I immediately went down and dropped a rather loud F-bomb sorry to the child’s parents whose child was sitting close enough to here.  Looked up at my foot and it seemed a little on the crooked side.  It was so bad, I was scared to pick it up off the ground because I thought it may dangle.  Sad thing is I used to play college baseball, and used to play softball 4 nights a week.  How does this happen playing church softball, even worse on a church softball team that rarely won. (sorry guys)

Well it was my first ambliance ride, probably would have been ok in a car but oh well.  A teammate was nice enough to call my friend and let her know what had happened, which is great cause no one should have to sit in an emergency room by themselves, and I’m thankful for her being there.  At first I told the Dr it felt like I dislocated my foot, like if you dislocated your arm.  I knew you couldn’t do that.  He thought I sprained my ankle, so after about close to 2 hours and x-rays he finally came back and said if I remember correctly I basically broke everything that attaches my foot to my leg and would need surgery the next day.  It’s at this point the Dr tells me not to eat anything after midnight, cool cause I’m starving since I skipped diner before softball.  Well two minutes later I’m pumped full of morphine and they tell me I can’t eat.  Say good bye to my friend because no need for her to stay and tried to sleep.

Next day woke up from the surgery to some friends in my room.  It’s so nice to have people there when you don’t think there would be.  Talked to my dad about the foot, and told him not to worry I could handle it.  3 hours later I told him to come visit cause he’s probably bored and I could use the help. 

First day on my own was that first Monday, 1^st off you can’t carry a glass of water or pretty much anything when you’re using crutches.  So I made myself a water bottle and threw it to the chair I was gonna sit in.  It blew up and I had a puddle on the floor till later that day when my dad got to visit. 

Dad’s visit…. He hooked me up with a wheelchair, and a walker.  I used the walker around the house because it had a basket and was easier than putting everything in a bag.  I used the wheel chair once, and that was to go to the fireworks.  The fireworks was something special, it rained just about the whole time.  It’s cool to know how good your friend is when she doesn’t like feet, but unwraps my cast and uses a hair dryer on it.

I only missed 3 days of work.  Dr told me 4 weeks is the approximate amount of time people miss.  I missed 3 days, and learned how to drive Left footed.  Probably why it took a little longer to heal, but I’m positive they would have fired me.  After 12 weeks I was able to put weight on the foot and start walking.  I could tell story after story but this would never end, and to the 5 people that may read it they will probably quit cause it will get to long.  Here are a few things I’ve learned from the experience.

1^st thing I learned is how special it is when someone is there in the hospital with you.  Also when people do things they don’t have to.  2^nd thing is not having hands is a pain in the butt.  I had to half stand half kneel on a chair to make dinner.  Then slide the plate of food across the stove to the table.  Then slide it across the table to the chair and then go back and repeat the process with my drink.  I didn’t drink coffee for 12 weeks cause I didn’t want to force someone to carry it for me.  Well I had Starbucks once before church because I was buying some for a friend, but I drank I drank mine in the car fast.  3^rd thing is handicapped parking.  This one I could vent on.  I am a lot nicer person than I used to be.  And having to crutch half way across a parking lot to go to Kroger because someone is lazy was not my idea of fun.  So one Sunday I’m at church and one of the Pastors talks about when he or his wife had to use handicapped parking.  He said don’t you just want to slash their tires for stealing the spot they didn’t need.  I had to laugh because he is a pastor.  Me 3 years ago would have thought something like “your kid is fat, and probably has asthma and will be made fun of because you are a fat lazy parent and parked in the handicapped spot, but I’m not that kind of person.  I even felt bad when I parked in the handicapped spots, yes I needed it, but what if there was a senior citizen, or WWII Vet who really needed it.  Oh well.  4^th thing I learned, is don’t go camping when you can barely walk, it really aint much fun.

Well that was 5 months ago, today I ran for 45 seconds, then started to walk.  Small intervals to get back to normal.  I’m still nervous walking up hills and in the grass in case there was a pot hole.  But I’m hoping that fear will go away.  Also I don’t know when I will feel like jumping down from a few feet up.  That might be awhile.  But maybe I’ll run a Marathon someday, doubt it maybe a half.  I definitely will be back on the softball field next year, and have already got back on the basketball court.  All for now.  Thanks to everyone who was there when I needed a hand.

You know how every year you say this is going to be the best year.  I’m going to do this and that.  Most people I bet say it twice a year, on New Years, and their birthday.  Well the other week was my birthday, and I gotta say this year better be better birthday to birthday.  Over the last year it has been rough, I lost my job shortly after my birthday.  Oct 10 or 3 days later to be exact, was unemployed which isn’t the best situation when you are already have depression issue sort of lingering.  Eventually got a job, well a temporary one at a significant pay cut.  They stretched it out a few times and it eventually ended, but I found a real job better paying etc to start shortly after the ending of the temporary one.  Not bad, its summer, got a new job, going home to see the family, playing softball with the church and Broken Ankle.  I show you the picture but they haven’t emailed me my xray yet.  Its quite impressive, seven screws and a metal plate on one side of the ankle and two more screws on the other.  Great, two weeks into new job I cant walk.  I only missed three days of work (positive I would have been fired if I missed more than a week)  learned to drive left footed, carried a plastic shopping bag everywhere to put stuff in because when you are on crutches you don’t have the use of your heands.  Cargo shorts with pockets and an old chair and a garbage bag to take a shower.  Not my ideal summer.  You don’t know how much a little exercise improves you mood when you cant walk.  Friend has moved a way, sort of, its a good thing but don’t get to see them as much and its not always fun that way.  My family stresses me out sometimes about being farther away. 

Enough about that heres to a better year this year especially.  Starting today Dr. said I could try and run.  I’m still nervous walking up hills and stairs, but tomorrow morning I’m gonna try.   All for now.

Well its just a regular day.  I am checking on this dog I let out to the bathroom a few times a week on my way home from work.  I hate putting the dog back in his cage, but having to check on him means I have to leave work at 5ish and I hate work even more.  Sammymac is stopping by for a few days this week, thats always an adventure.  But this time I can at least walk like a normal person without a giant boot and crutch.  The other week I went to a church just for the fun of it.  Not that I would ever change churches, I would probably listen to Crosspoint on the internet if I had to move from Nashville.  Let me tell you was exactly like CP, but it sucked.  The people weren’t the same, the pastor was lecturing instead of speaking, and I can go on on.  Maybe I was partial cause of all the great things at CP.  Hey I even had Christmas Dinner with CP people cause I have no family in the area.  Gonna hopefully make it home for christmas this year. 

All for now, more later this week.  I hope its a good week.

I just realized how long it has been since I’ve written anything out here.  Maybe it was the Julie and Julia movie about blogging I subjected myself to the spung this into memory.  So whats new with me. 

I can walk again.  My foot isn’t back to normal but its getting there.  I suppose its becaue I took 3 days of work instead of  4 weeks.  Or the fact that I had to decline the physical therapy.  (wasn’t really necessary but would have helped)  Next thing that is new is I don’t really like my job.  Maybe it will get better when they add another person, but right now we are only doing maybe 5% of what is required and I feel like they are using us as scape goats.  Because if the company gets in trouble mine and the other employees records will be marked for life, not the people that are pushing us around.  So I’m working on somethings to maybe get me some better job, but don’t know if I want to do sales, and or take the pay cut to try and be a teacher. 

Next I guess would be the wedding, it was so much fun.  Also talking with one of the bridesmaids about how much the bride missed me after I moved away certainly made me feel loved.  First time back in Wis at the same time as J, and we had some fun.  No trouble but ended up with at Sal at 1am or later for Pizza two nights in a row.  Also got to hang out with the Fam, especially the neice and nephews.  The last part of the trip a quick stop off in Chicago for a Cubs game.  And I’m pretty sure I can feel a 3 day weekend trip to Chicago come spring time to do it again.

Going forward, well next week would have been the beach trip.  I think financially it didn’t make sense, new jobs, new cars, being on the road so much so we are not going.  I hope to god we do again in the spring but things change.  I am planning on the Caribbean in March so that will be a good time, just have to get my passport and pick an Island or cruise. 

There is so much more to say but I’ll stop 

All for now and more will come eventually, and soon.

Today my very first guest blog ever.  It comes to yall from KTVZ.  Pretty famous around the Appleton WI area.  Most people would recognize her as at least that girl with an opinion.  Or that girl with the loud and obnoxious boyfriend.  Well she is a good friend of mine that I miss a lot, and here is what she thinks.

——————–

What is sadder than watching an aging football player who can’t let go, surrounding himself with “yes” people who nurture his delusions for personal gain, and alienating the very people who gave him his ego in the first place?  Oh, and when did Brett Favre turn into a character from Sunset Boulevard? 

You’re Brett Favre.  You used to be a quarterback. You used to be big.
I *am* big. It’s the *game* that got small.

I didn’t know you were planning a comeback.
I hate that word. It’s a return, a return to the millions of people who have never forgiven me for deserting the field.

Seriously???

I cannot say I did not take an active part in creating the monster that he has become. I overlooked a lot of his known character flaws and accepted the media portrayal of the “aww shucks country boy who loves the game” as fact.  I wanted to believe he was the fun-loving kid who cleaned up his act to be a family man and a team leader and brought the Lombardi trophy back to Green Bay.

A team leader, however, does not hold his team hostage with indecision year after year.  He does not demand moves be made for player–especially when they happen to be former division nemesis who he just so happens to share an agent with.  A team leader recognizes his place in the organization. He is not bigger than the whole and he doesn’t expect to be treated as such.

Brett Favre is no longer a man I respect.  He is the cranky old man who gives up on his team if it is too cold.  He doesn’t have the sense to see that an injury that limits his abilities may be counterproductive to his team.  He is a man who can no longer be taken at his word – who prides himself on manipulating the media and is driven by revenge…and he’s ready for his close-up.
——————–

I’d like to thank KTVZ for her time and contribution to my blog, and by making me smile.  I love the Rants she goes on, while we are both driving home from work, but miss not being able to sit down to a beer to hear them in person.

Well with nothing to write about what I want to do and what’s in store.  Since the summer has kind of been a letdown for me.  I mean it has been good, but I haven’t walked now for 6 weeks.   So some of the fun stuff has been put on hold.  BUT the next months seem to be filling up quite nicely.  Let me tell you about these plans maybe you will join in.  For a small fee of course. 

7/31/09  First of let’s get this started quickly this weekend the 31^st of July will be hopefully the day I start to try and walk, and camping.  Small core TeamDinger people will be sitting around the fire with Hamburgers and beers.  The only thing special about this type of camping is it includes Mimosas at breakfast time. 

August is pretty open, as I feel I will need some rehab and stuff.  So most weekends in Aug will be spent at the pool.  I also feel a trip to the horse track some Saturday.

8/28/09 tentative trip to Gatlinburg Cabin.  May reason for this is to do some tubing down the river there.  But I’m sure they will have a hot tub in the cabin, and I suspect Mimosas.  Also the First Ever Go-Kart Race to determine who the best driver is.  And maybe hit up some fudge while I’m there.

Labor Day weekend is going to be temporarily left open to keep some good possibilities.  Plus it’s the start of College Football very busy Saturday.  Which includes a light breakfast, followed by a Huge Steak off the grill for lunch, cheese and crackers, beers, and 12 hours of watching TV.  All are welcome to this day’s festivities.

9/12/09 The wedding of the year.  KT and TVZ.  Back in Wisconsin for from 9/10/09 to 9/15/09.  This promises to be one of the best weekends of the year.  I only have one tentative date so if anyone is interested…..   Followed by the long overdue promise to attend the Cubs game on 9/14/09.

Also in Sept I will be attending some sort of Amusement park to get my roller coaster on.  I should be able to handle all the walking by then.  Hopefully they are still open. 

10/1/09-10/4/09 This is the tentative dates for the Semi-Annual beach trip.  Dates are subject to change yet, based on people’s availability, but will be within a few weeks of this weekend.  This year’s theme will include the Celebration of the Tenth Anniversary of my 21^st Birthday.  Maybe some more beach Olympics.  Definitely karaoke, Skip Bo, really F ing good food, great friends, a fake bachelorette party for one of the attendees, and a lot more.  I’m surprised every 6 months how no one ever wants to join in. 

10/23/09 fall camping trip

11/1/09 Titans home game versus the Jaguars.  TeamDinger appreciation weekend.

And that’s where I will stop for now.  But some big things are in the works for February, March and April.  Events listed above will happen; the date may change slightly based on key people and their availability.

All for now.  That was kind of fun.  Now I’m excited about everything I’m looking forward to doing.

I’m one of those people that always talks about making changes and forcing myself to do something that I may be uncomfortable, but some of the times things just don’t happen.  Every once in awhile I get motivated again to do some of the things, reach some goals and try to become a better person.   Now is another one of those times, I don’t want to feel I don’t matter to things, I’d like to fill some of those holes I think I have in my life.

These catagories are something I want to be part of my life even more.

Open Communication: Being not only a problem solver but also being empathetic and giving emotional support.  Be a good listener.

Christian Values: living for Christ.

Share Laughter and Joy: The joy of a personal victory or triumph is much better when it is shared with a loved one.  Have a good sense of humor. 

Strength and Intelligence: Carry myself with strength and confidence both physically and mentally to help me make wise decisions.

Moral and Ethical Character:  Having a good heart.

Trust, Honesty and Loyalty:  With my whole heart.

Few things I’m trying to see if they would work.  First of all I started the process of being a Big Brother at Big Brother Big Sisters.  My dad does kind of the same thing (has a little buddy to hang out with).  I think I could make a positive influence on someone, and even if not I can take someone to movies or activities once in awhile.  Especially someone who wouldn’t normally get to go to them.   Secondly I decide I should sign myself up for something that would maybe help me meet more people.  I did this last summer without a whole lot of success because I’m single, but I’m gonna try it again.  Even though I feel stupid, and insecure and completely out of my comfort zone I’m gonna try. 

I was looking for other things to make a change, or have an impact on others.  There are lots of good ideas and I hopefully will stick to it and find one that I can do passionately.   One that comes to mind could be a joint effort between me and my buddy SammyMac.  (of course we would need mommy’s permission)  But I think he would be great at it after a few practice runs.  But I can’t do that one until I’m fully healed.

This is my feeling today, it better than most.  Much better  than the shoe box of mail I have to go through and take care of at home, (but even that should be alright eventually).

Quick question before I go.  We as people, do we live depressed in search of things, activities, etc to mask our depression.  Or do we live happily and have things, circumstances that depress us?

See ya later.

Things that make me sad, and I promise to discuss happy things at a later date.  Maybe on a Friday cause Fridays make me happy.

Stuff related to kids makes me sad.  The top tear jerker I can think of is every year the country radio station where I’m from has a telethon for St. Judes Childrens Hospital.  They just go on and on with the stories and it gets me everytime.  I don’t think its fair that a child gets cancer.  The next one that gets me is The Make a Wish Foundation.  When they take a terminally ill child to Disney world, or to meet the Dallas Cowboys it gets me everytime.  There are other situations similar to this that get me, but I can’t think of right now.

I guess I get sad for the right movies.  Well the movie The Patriot with Mel Gibson, I don’t think I’ve ever watched that without crying when the little girl finally talks and tells Mel not to go back to the war.  Also in movies where an old person dies and leaves behind the person they’ve been with their whole lives is really sad.  (Maybe cause I’ll never make it to a 50^th wedding anniversary)

Other things would be when I feel people are lieing to me, or my insecurity gets the best of me and I don’t feel good enough.  That makes me sad thinking about this because I feel like I’m easily replaced and will be replaced.  Lastly I think I’m the saddest when someone I care about is sad.  If something didn’t work out is isn’t going as planned I sometimes wish I could take that pain from the other person and put it on myself. 

Saying goodbye makes me sad.

There is obviously more but thats all I can think of or care to write.

Well that was fun.  Soon I’ll discuss what makes me happy, obviously the opposite of these things and a few more like Fridays, and the Beach and other peeps smiles.  But until then check yourself.

What a fun weekend.  It started with dinner and Ritas with J on Thursday.  My first adult beverages in over 2 weeks.  All went well and even had some fun playing detective texting a random person who wont say who they are.  Friday went to the pool.  I love the pool, and with a broken leg I can’t go into the pool and its depressing.  But It was nice to get some sun and chat while at the pool.  At night off to the movies.  Saw “Up” it was ok.  I thought it was going to be much better but still good.  Quick stop at the liquor store for the 4^th, (since they are closed on the fourth, weird laws here) and then to bed.  Saturday the fourth of July started by me bringing my car downtown to get a good parking spot so I could switch out crutches for my wheel chair.  Grilled out at J’s house, kinda sad I couldn’t “Man” the grill but its ok to have people wait on me I guess.  Then off to the fireworks yahoooooo.  Should’ve planned for a little rain though.  After sitting around for a bit listening to music it began to rain.  And once we were completely soaked we decided to go to a bar to get out of the rain for a bit.  Then back to the streets to watch the fireworks, which were really good as usual.  But shortly after they started it began to rain again. And rain harder.  Back to the house for some more of the best Taco Dip East of the Mississippi, south of Mason Dixon Line, and west of the Myrtle Beach.  Finish the night off with a little bit of time with the Hair Dryer to my Cast/Wrapped leg. (Should be coming off tomorrow, I hope.  Don’t want a Moldy foot).  If I wasn’t handicapped the rain would have been actually fun and not so much a pain.  So come Sunday I’m pretty tired and my foot is feeling the pain of all the activities.  So Sunday was pretty basic.  CP to watch BB out of the bullpen for Pete, awesome morning.  Then home to watch tv and nap all afternoon.  All in all a great weekend, because who else was there to enjoy it with me.

Back to work today, not many big plans for the week.  Hopefully get my boot tomorrow at the Dr.  Maybe a Sounds game Thursday night, and hopefully a celebratory happy hour Friday night. 

All for now.